Exit and Support Network

Worldwide Church of God Almost
Destroyed My Life

I read a lot of what was in your website about children raised in the cult, and the S.E.P. mind control camp. This was very moving for me, in fact I cried. I was raised in the cult (Worldwide), and I know I am scarred for life. I can't believe there is a website dedicated to my problem, which I have always felt I was alone in. I am the only one out of my group of Y.O.U. friends, whom I still keep in touch with, that was traumatized on such a massive level. I am vocal about it to them, as much as is appropriate anyway, and I often wish I could afford serious therapy, because that is what I know I need.

Worldwide Church of God almost destroyed my life. I am in my 20s and the daughter of an elder who wasn't very respected. My mom was nuts, a recovered alcoholic who acted like a freak at services and who humiliated me on a daily basis. She physically abused me, and well as emotionally. We were white trash, living in a home that smelled like garbage. I didn't fit in with children in the world, and I didn't fit in with children at WCG services. I was nothing to no one.

My parents don't understand what the WCG did to me. All my friends were minister's daughters, who also abused me. I was never good enough for them, as hard as I tried. My parents still go to Worldwide, even after the change. I think it sucks that they still go there, considering the sickness that it obviously was. I know they say they believe the truth now, but I tell you what, if it were my child that I aided in destroying I would sure as *#! would never go back after supposedly seeing the light. The thing is, I don't think they've fully seen the light. Otherwise they'd be gone.

I know that being mind-controlled by a Bible-based cult is a sickness. I know I need to forgive and let go. But It's hard when I hear my dad say, "You know, we really did a lot of things right." It makes me want to vomit when I hear him say that.

My closest friends on the planet are people I was friends with in Y.O.U. I guess it's because we are the only ones that know what it was like. When I talk about it to my friends from High School they don't get it, like you guys were saying. I am actually engaged to someone I was in Y.O.U. with, we've been friends since we were teenagers. He's a good guy, and he's saved now, just like me. We go to a Jesus believing church. But this will be my third husband, because I have been married twice already and I have a four year old son. See, the WCG messed me up for so long. But now I am okay except for the flashbacks and the occasional bitterness. I am afraid to invite Worldwide people to our wedding, for a lot of reasons. Even though the ones that go there now are fairly decent, I am still fearful. They all used to be so mean.

I know exactly what you were saying about going crazy because of the cult. I was nuts in High School and my young adulthood, all up until I accepted Jesus. The WCG changed the year I graduated but it took so long to not be nuts anymore. I used to cry and cry for hours on my bedroom floor, and then as time went on it turned into anger and I would hit things and break things.

I am a good person now, in a wholesome relationship. I am a good mom, and I love my son. I have friends who care about me, and I them. I am a student at the University here and I have a part time job. I am doing well and I am happy but it hurt so bad getting here, because I had to train myself on how to do it right. I should be in a mental institution but by the grace of God I am all right. What hurts now is feeling like people don't understand the cause of my past mistakes. I know there are people who just think I'm nuts. But I know the person I really am and what would have been if the cult had not been. I know that everything happens for a reason, but it still hurts.

Thank you for the website, it is a blessing. It is good to see I am not alone.

By Nancy - Child survivor of WCG (details changed to protect the survivor)
November 27, 2005


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