It has taken me a lot of
courage to speak out concerning what I have endured as a child
survivor of the
Worldwide Church of God and then as an adult survivor of the
Philadelphia Church of God. All my
life I have had this belief that we must keep the old covenant in
order to make it into the Kingdom of God. I have just come to
realize it is a big fat lie. What we were taught (frightened into
believing) was completely unnecessary.
I was in the WCG most of my
childhood and grew up with the brutal and unnecessary spankings and
pressure to be quieted in services. I saw a child once get hit for
making an innocent noise. If you dropped a pen in the hall you'd be
in trouble, too. I knew what it was like to be an outsider even
though we were supposed to be "God's Family" to the world. We
were shunned because of our ridiculous, unnecessary beliefs.
When my parents came out of the WCG (after it changed) and then found
the PCG, I went along too as I knew no other law. I was baptized
when I wasn't ready, but I did it because I was under the impression that
if I did I "belonged" to the church and I (and my husband,
too, who was not in PCG), would be protected and given the green light
to the "place of safety" when the time came to flee. That was my
main drive to be baptized, not because I wanted to give my life100% to Jesus. That wasn't the message they were batting out. It
was so you could be saved eternally because this was the only "true
church."
So I was baptized, but never
in the entire time in the PCG did I receive the Holy Spirit (like I
have come to know and love with a passion in these last few weeks).
In fact, the baptism in PCG had no spiritual meaning to my life at
all. I continued to sleep for another 5 years with this "church,"
never learning anything from the Bible and only when I did, it was
enforced by the PCG and not by Scripture. It was what they
wanted to re-enforce that they said we should be keeping, or doing;
i. e., the makeup laws, length of skirts (they aren't in the
Bible), and children being subjected to suits! Full dressed suits in
summertime in 90° heat! Tell me where in the Bible does it
tell you to do that? It just says dress modestly and with respect
when you're at services.
Then there were the changes in doctrines to suit the ministers and
the rewriting and re-changing of HWA's supposed "gospel words"
which were given by the Almighty. Flurry even started "rewriting" some of
Herbert Armstrong's books, leaving out certain things, and putting his name on them. That was my first wake up call. The last days turned
to the "last hour" scream, putting nothing but man-made fear into us.
Then the final straw came when the ministry refused to pray for my
child to be protected whilst he was on the operating table for a
life saving operation and which obviously God had not chosen
to heal at this time in his life. Their answer was since I was
allowing man to intervene it meant I did not really trust God to heal my child;
therefore "God would be hands off." What a cruel thing to say to a
mother who has no choice but to place her child in "man's hands" for
medical intervention. That was it for me. Well, my child came through that
operation sailing. In fact, he recovered better than
ever and is still going great now. My faith was 100% in God that He was
going to be very hands on!
So that was it. I felt a sense
of freedom when I gave my resignation to PCG. Why? Because I found Jesus,
not man in the Bible. I no longer interpreted the Bible nor allowed
man to interpret it to me, because God interpreted the Bible to me.
I stopped listening to man and starting
listening to God and He gave me the truth! "The truth shall set
you free." There is nothing more truthful than that statement! None of
the Scriptures made sense whilst I was listening to man in that
"church," not until I stepped out and said, "Just help me, God. I
don't know what to believe. Open my eyes and let me see the truth."
I don't think my eyes can get any wider or they'll burst!
I like singing gospel music
(which in the PCG would have been considered evil and therefore not
allowed). I now attend a church
that is free from bondage, full of Spirit filled people that
actually care about you, and I found Jesus there. Nothing is ever
going to rob me of that utter joy again!
Two Sundays ago I was re-baptized. This time there was
joy on my face of really giving my life to Jesus and knowing that
his Spirit finally dwelled in me. When I walked away, Jesus walked
with me! I can't say that ever happened in the PCG. Thanks again for
this supportive website. I am finally free from the PCG!
By Michelle - Child survivor of WCG/former member of PCG
November 1, 2005
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