I was born in the PCG and went with my parents, two older sisters and older brother. I was very isolated as a child and didn’t have many friends and of course even if I did, I was not allowed to see them outside of school. I always envied other kids at a very young age. I felt so different and it was very lonely. It made connection with others very hard. The so called friends I had at my congregation would constantly talk behind my back. I had no one.
My parents later started to homeschool me because that’s what all the parents in PCG were doing. This isolated me even more. I developed anxiety at a very young age and I think a lot of that has to do with the fear that the PCG would put into their members. I remember being 6 or 7 and hearing what would happen to me in the Tribulation if I stopped going to this “church.”
It was talked about how I would be raped by hundreds of men and would watch babies being murdered. That I would eat my babies because I was starving. This isn’t the worse thing I’ve heard. I even asked my mother if that were true and she told me that everything that was said was correct* and that the only thing that would protect me was staying in Gods “true church.”
As the years went by, my family life started to get worse and we all started to separate as a family. Cal Culpepper took joy in separating my family when my sisters started to disobey the PCG teachings. Culpepper berated my parents and then later said they had a “government problem” and they were put out. I still don’t understand how this man is still a minister after all the EVIL things he has done to others.
My family was out for a few years and we all actually started to try and rebuild our family. Well, that was until my parents decided they wanted to go back to PCG services. I decided to not go back with them at age 15. I’m now 24 and my parents, brother, sister all went back and currently are still in it. It’s just me and my other sister now. They still have contact with us but everything is different.
I’m so afraid they will one day just cut me off. I’m constantly walking on eggshells around them. I can’t say anything to them or that will count as disrespect and a possibility that they would cut me off. I’ve actually been told by them that they would if the ministry told them. So I try my best to bite my tongue and just let them preach to me constantly. I feel like I can’t get away from the PCG and it’s affected my daily life. I’ve lost my family.
This website has made me realize I’m not alone and that I’m not crazy for feeling the way I do. Thank you. I hope one day I can heal.
By Marissa – Child survivor of PCG
*Comments by ESN: What PCG tells its members (and youth) are lies based on fear in order to control others for financial exploitation. In order to start recovering, it is important to replace those lies with the truth. Begin by educating yourself on what this group is all about. Our Questions & Answers page has info on how to recover.
Control and Abuse by Cal Culpepper (includes links to more testimonies and letters about Culpepper)