My wife never wanted to be in the PCG. She attended because I did. We were treated very badly by the man that became the regional director in our area.
She died very suddenly of a brain aneurysm going on 5 years now. At first I didn’t care if I lived or died; I didn’t even want to go home. It was because of my two sons still living at home that I even went home. The regional director didn’t even want to perform the funeral. The local minister said a few words during the announcement part of Sabbath services. He said the director forbade him from more because it was the Sabbath and it would be inappropriate. At that time I didn’t care; however, I did bring pictures of my dead wife and put them on the table.
A few weeks later, our first grandchild was born. That was a bittersweet day. Oh, how my wife looked forward to her first grandchild, but she wasn’t there. When I held that baby, I knew I wanted to live. I knew I had to change, to lose the weight and health problems that would prevent me from seeing my grandchild grow up.
After two years, I had lost 150 pounds and decided that I wasn’t too old to date again. There were no single ladies in my congregation so I had to travel. I went all over looking for someone to date. My minister cautioned me not to travel too much and reminded me that (city withheld) was my congregation and I should stay there.
A friend that was a minister told me about a single lady in his area. He said she was a school teacher close to my age, that she was a great lady and I should come and meet her. I did. We hit it off and I began traveling to see her as often as I could. I would spend a week at a time seeing her every day. She came up to visit me and I would go visit her.
We became close and both of us thought we were in love. One thing led to another and we became intimate. Thinking we were in love and going to be married, and knowing other couples that were married that had done the same thing, we decided that we would not let it happen again until we were married and not tell anyone about it.
One day the minister called me while she was there and asked me if we were in love, I said yes; he asked if we wanted to get married, I said yes. He took that to the director and he put the breaks on it like we were children. I was told that they did not know her and I should not spend time with her until they met her. She came down and met the local minister. He frightened her so much that we didn’t see each other for a while. She had a series of disasters happen, and decided that we had sinned. The guilt was heavy on both of us so we quit dating.
Wow, that was a blow but I had to live with it. I started seeing another lady, not wanting to let that happen again. We went out a few times with no physical contact at all. I had learned my lesson.
The FOT was in (city withheld) that year. I went a few days early and while walking around the hotel I met the lady I had been intimate with. We went out to dinner. She started crying, said she loved me and wanted to marry me. I felt the same way.
The second lady was also at (city withheld) and when she learned that the first lady was there she went to the regional director and told him. I was told not to see anyone until he could talk to me.
He called all three of us and arranged a meeting. The ladies went first and when I saw the first one come out crying, I knew things would not go well.
I was called in to talk with the director. He asked me about my relationship with the first lady. I told him we dated and wanted to continue dating and counsel for marriage. He pushed me further on the relationship, I said we had been intimate. He asked if we had had sex. Not wanting to lie to the minister I said we had. He told me that I was a sexual predator. I told him that I had had sex with one woman besides my wife in 38 years and that made me a sexual predator? He said yes. He then asked If I had had sex with the second woman. I said no and that we had not even kissed. He then said that I did have sex with her. I again said no and he again said I did.
He asked me If I had a problem with pornography. I said no, that I had two young boys at home and didn’t look at it or have it in the house. He then asked me if I masturbated. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I thought of saying, “No, but I’ve seen your wife so I know you do,” but I was so shocked that I couldn’t say anything. The local minister sat there with a sad look on his face, like a little whipped puppy dog. I felt that he was in just as much shock as I was. (I’ve just learned that this local minister was put out, and lost his family.)
The lady and I were both suspended on the spot. And I was told to leave (city withheld).
As I was leaving at about 5:00 in the morning, I passed her door and saw that the bill was under her door. indicating that she too was leaving that morning.
I drove down the road for an hour or so and called her to see if she needed any money to get home. I was at a Wal-Mart and could wire the funds to her. Because she had driven to the FOT with a local family, I knew she didn’t have the means to get home. She didn’t answer so I left a message offering to help her get home.
She told the minister; he called me on my cell and told me I would be marked for contacting her.
When I got the call from the director, I was shocked. I asked if I could receive counseling. He told me that I was out, no longer a member of the congregation, and that I was marked. I said after 33 years that’s it? No counseling, no second chance? He said I was out and not to call. He then went on to say he was having to put out a lot of people in the region, like it was a burden on him. He didn’t care about the lives he was affecting.
So after over 33 years and raising four children in the PCG, two of which were at AC [Armstrong College], I was thrown away. Just like the Nazis would march a Jew out and shoot him in the head. That’s what I felt like.
It’s taken me a while to get over this. If I had had a gun in my home at that time, I would not be writing this now.
They made my daughter that was living with me leave home. They forbade my other daughter and my little granddaughter from seeing me. They would not let my son at AC have contact with me.
Thankfully my daughter and son-in-law quit the cult. They saw what they had done to me and decided they could not be a part of a group that would do such a thing. And would not forbid their daughter from seeing her grandfather. My youngest son is still with me. He doubts the existence of God because of the cult.1
I even wrote a letter to “That Prophet.” I never got an answer. I know he got the letter because the director told my son-in-law about the letter and told him that I had lied to Gerald Flurry. The director was “Cow Cultpecker” (Cal Culpepper).
I continue on with my life. I’m happy now and have made lots of friends. People we were taught not to associate with I’ve found are good people and friends.
My daughter, son-in-law and two granddaughters are with me, as is my youngest son. We grieve the loss of my other two children that are still in the cult. We hope that one day they will have their eyes opened to the truth and we will see them again.
Footnote by ESN:
1 God is never a part of any destructive, abusive group that uses “church” as a front for its evil agenda. However, those who have never been taught about the true God of love find it hard to comprehend who He really is, or if He even exists. Read: Why Do So Many Exiters Turn to Atheism? and Because God Loves Me.