The following spiritual difficulties are common with survivors from the Worldwide Church of God, Philadelphia Church of God and all related offshoots.
Not every survivor will have all of these, or may suffer from additional ones. Experiencing any of this does not mean you are defective. In some cases these feelings may take years to subside, but it is important to realize that, while painful, they are common feelings with exiters. In time they will pass.
This list overlaps with Common Emotional Difficulties After Leaving a High Demand Group.
God:
- Feeling God has betrayed, abandoned or forsaken you
- Questioning God (“Why me?” “Where were you?” “Why did you allow this?” “Why didn’t you protect me?” etc.)
- Unable to understand God’s love
- Unable to feel God is really there
- Believing God has placed you under a “curse” whenever any problem or disaster occurs
- Feeling God does not approve of you or accept you
- Problems integrating the God you knew in the group and the God you think you are supposed to know now.
- Feeling you lost God (i.e., the God you knew and especially if you were a prior Christian)
- Unable to understand what God or Jesus are really like
Bible:
- Unable to read the Bible (inability to concentrate, fear of being triggered back into the group mind set, reminding one of study in the group, etc.)
- Feeling too tired to study the Bible all over again (after years of feeling you found its truth)
- Guilt over not studying the Bible
- Much confusion with Scripture (especially concerning law and grace)
- Questions of whether the Bible is entirely true, part true, or has been changed over time
Churches:
- Feeling “Where do I go now?”
- Fear of all churches
- Guilt for not attending a church
- Wanting to replace everything you felt you lost in the group
- Anxiety in attempting a mainstream church or Bible study group
- Religious addiction (desire to immerse oneself in as many Bible study groups, church activities, etc. as possible)
- Anxiety when reading Christian literature that reminds you of the group’s teachings or control
- Wanting to reject all forms of belief
- Wanting to be free of all churches
Ministers & Other Christians:
- Fear or deep lack of trust
- Fear of being controlled or deceived
- Feeling alienated or different in thought and practice
- Feelings of inferiority or inadequacy
- Feeling shame and humiliation for having been in a “cult” and afraid to bring it up
- Feeling no other Christian could ever understand
- Great hurt when other Christians don’t understand
- Feelings of sin for worshipping the way you did in the group
Prayer:
- Feeling God does not hear your prayers anymore
- Depressed or pressured feelings (especially when attempting to pray in same position as in the group)
- Unable to pray as before (or finding it very hard to pray)
- Feeling guilt (for not praying fervently enough, long enough, regularly, etc.)
Beliefs:
- Desperation for “the truth” again
- Very confused (not knowing who or what to believe)
- Blaming yourself for being deceived
- Blaming yourself for being disfellowshipped or kicked out
- Fearing the Lake of Fire
- Fearing a loss of salvation
- Searching out various non-orthodox belief systems
- Spiritualizing everything (magical thinking)
- Feelings of pain, betrayal and grief at how the group took the true Jesus away from you
- Wanting to drop out of religion
Other:
- A compulsion to talk to everyone about your group experience (is a hold-over from the group-instilled confessing behavior)
- Wanting to immerse yourself in a round of activities (to avoid thinking and feeling)
- A need to feel “used by God” (or to be a part of something “important”)
- Not feeling a part of the human race (this can be a part of Complex Post Traumatic Stress)
- Wondering if it was a mistake to leave the group (thinking of returning)
Info compiled by N. A. and Mike
Exit & Support Network™
Go to: Common Emotional Difficulties After Leaving a High Demand Group
RECOMMENDED MATERIAL:
Why Did God Allow Me to Go In an Abusive Group?
What Were the Lies and What Is the Truth?
Replacing the leader’s fear-based statements with the truth from the Word of God.
Poems/Free Verse/Comfort in Words of Hymns
Comfort for the brokenhearted. (Some of these poems and free verse were written by an exiter.)
Prayers For Freedom From Spiritual Strongholds
Very effective in gaining liberation from strongholds and oppression due to involvement in any harmful, abusive group or occult practices.
RECOMMENDED MATERIAL:
Victory Over Depression by Bob George (6 Audio CD Set) [offsite link]
ON OUR LINKS:
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Symptoms; causes; types; help.
Information & Resources on Trauma, Dissociation, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
International Coalition for Drug Awareness (Educating about the dangers of RX Medications)